Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Toboggan Run
Monday, the family wen to Pokagan State Park in Northen Indiana to the Toboggan Run there. We got two sleds for an hour, stood out in the cold, got scared out of our wits, and had a blast!
Christmas!
Christmas Eve, my siblings Landon, Josie, and Aubrey flew out to Indiana. Bryce and Aprille joined in the opening of gifts over Skype. We had a good Christmas together. Notice all the ugly Christmas sweaters Mom had everyone wear. =)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Poetry Contest!
Recently, I submitted a poem of mine to the 2009 Half Price Books High School Poetry contest, and last night my parents told me they'd gotten a call from them and took me to the store. I had no idea what to expect, but the manager came out with a certificate and an 8GIG iPod Nano. I'd won first place! The 1-3rd place winners are invited to a reading of the poems in January.
I have won 1st and 2nd place awards for short stories, but never for poetry. This is very exciting!
The iPod is pretty nice, too. It has 8GIGs, I can film videos with it, watch movies, TV shows, view pictures, play games, listen to music, listen to the radio, use it as a pedometer, stop watch, alarm clock... I'm stoked!
Here's the poem:
Beneath the dull grey sky
Above the dusty road
I flutter
I dart
I float
I glide.
Behind the olden tree
Before the broken boat
I move
I soar
I fly
I flee.
Amidst the bustling world
Without a welcome heart
I dance
I leap
I sing
I twirl.
Beyond a hopeless mind
Beside a desolate soul
I beckon
I lead
I show
I find.
Whenever dreams dare stand still
When wishes fade with time
I add
I shift
I turn
I change.
Despite a ruthless lie
Inside the darkest hour
I glisten
I sparkle
I glitter
I shine.
I am Beauty.
(copyright by me)
I have won 1st and 2nd place awards for short stories, but never for poetry. This is very exciting!
The iPod is pretty nice, too. It has 8GIGs, I can film videos with it, watch movies, TV shows, view pictures, play games, listen to music, listen to the radio, use it as a pedometer, stop watch, alarm clock... I'm stoked!
Here's the poem:
Beneath the dull grey sky
Above the dusty road
I flutter
I dart
I float
I glide.
Behind the olden tree
Before the broken boat
I move
I soar
I fly
I flee.
Amidst the bustling world
Without a welcome heart
I dance
I leap
I sing
I twirl.
Beyond a hopeless mind
Beside a desolate soul
I beckon
I lead
I show
I find.
Whenever dreams dare stand still
When wishes fade with time
I add
I shift
I turn
I change.
Despite a ruthless lie
Inside the darkest hour
I glisten
I sparkle
I glitter
I shine.
I am Beauty.
(copyright by me)
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Soggy Gingerbread
Explanation: For school, my mom took my sisters and me to the local gingerbread festival for a Creative Writing exercise. We were supposed to find a gingerbread house that struck our fancy and then write a story about the person making the house, and those who might actually live in the house. Realistically or not (my sister both wrote about gingerbread men coming alive).
My Gingerbread House Inspiration:
My Musical Inspiration:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU6AhH2a1cU&feature=PlayList&p=F49866CA4A873543&index=34
My Story:
"Currently Untitled."
Claire dumped the candy rocks into a pie pan, as to better distribute them. Each rock was unique in its shape and size and color: some were as large as quarters, while smallest was the size of a sunflower seed. There were pink, blue, grey, brown, black, white, and orangish-red rocks.
Next, Claire opened a bag of pretzel sticks, and began snapping the pretzels in half. Finally, she had all her gingerbread house supplies ready and on the table—her workspace.
This was going to be no ordinary gingerbread house; it could hardly be called a house, but that is what it was: A lighthouse.
Claire uncapped the tub of vanilla frosting and began spreading it over the back end of the aluminum foil-covered square of cardboard that would serve as a base.
Stuck together with frosting, Claire formed the gingerbread walls of the lighthouse. It was intricate work, and Claire paid close attention to every detail. Soon, there were pretzel sticks for railings and a lollipop for a light. Crushed Corn Chex substituted as sand and the candy rocks decorated what would soon be a beach.
Claire uncapped the blue frosting, grabbed her butter knife, and began to form her ocean, twisting the knife to create a wave-like appearance.
Claire could almost hear the cry of seagulls….
Sophie gripped the railings, as she stared out over the darkened ocean. The storm was so fierce that her yellow slicker did little good, and her long brown hair clung to her face and neck as if its life depended on it.
Rain splattered into her eyes and she blinked rapidly to clear her vision. “Please,” she whispered, her voice lost to the wail of the angry wind. “See the light.”
Just as she said this, she was engulfed by blinding light; and just as quickly, it disappeared. The lighthouse’s light was dimmer than usual, having experienced mechanical difficulties over the past few week, but at least it was running. That was all Sophie could ask for; that, and her husband’s safe return.
As the wife of a lighthouse keeper, Sophie was trained in predicting the weather. According to her predictions, the week of Christmas was to be unusually clear and sunny—perfect for traveling the seas.
She had said so in her telegram to her husband, Joshua, a week earlier. He had gone to the main island for supplies (Christmas shopping, Sophie had told herself excitedly) and had promised to be home by the holiday.
Tonight was Christmas Eve, and Sophie’s predictions had been completely misled. What had really happened was the opposite—an unusually fierce storm had arisen from nowhere that afternoon, and had already washed away the porch swing and their only dinghy.
Josh was somewhere out there, in that, and it was all her fault. She’d claimed the weather would be amiable—if she never saw her husband again, if he never experienced another Christmas, she would be to blame.
Tears, hot and salty, mingled with the rain that assaulted her cheeks.
Suddenly, the world was engulfed in darkness. Sophie screamed and swung around, nearly losing her balance on the slick deck.
“No,” she breathed, gaping into the nothingness before her. Lightning flashed, illuminating the glass room that housed the light. “No!” Sophie screamed again, this time in frustration.
The light had died, and with it any hope of Josh’s return.
Sophie yanked open the door and forced it closed behind her against the wind. Angrily, she slammed her fist against the light, hoping with a vain hope that it would jumpstart it back to life.
With one last glance at the unseen ocean, Sophie dashed downstairs to the control room. After locating a flashlight, she switched it on to better see the control panel…. Nothing happened. The batteries were dead.
Each second that passed in darkness, Josh could be drifting farther out to sea.
Frantic, Sophie rushed downstairs into the living quarters of the lighthouse. As she dashed for the junk drawer to find batteries, she noticed a dim light in the room: a single candle illuminating a simple nativity scene on the counter.
Temporarily distracted, Sophie stepped in front of it, watching the candlelight dance across the Christ-child’s face. He was smiling up into his mother’s peaceful face.
Mary had just given birth inside a stable, and yet she seemed so at ease. Sophie wished she could feel that same peace, and fell to her knees.
Claire lodged the toothpick mast into the gingerbread boat, turning it so the beaded sail was parallel with the boat.
With a tube of green icing, she christened the ship, “Troop 20517” after her last name and zip code. Finally, Claire positioned the ship into the blue frosting waves and hot-glued it into place.
The perfect finishing piece to her edible world.
Minutes later, Sophie opened her eyes. Something had changed; she no longer felt fear. Leaping to her feet, Sophie bounded up the lighthouse stairs, only to be blinded by a white light.
After regaining herself, Sophie stared out over the ocean, following the beam of light as it lit up the crashing waves. Miraculously, the light had relit; even more miraculously, Sophie noticed something being tossed by the waves. She strained to better see the object whip-lashing back and forth on the waves. She pulled the hood of her slicker further over her eyes.
Could it be? Sophie scarcely dared to believe, but then she remembered the babe in the manger, and immediately began to pray for the second time that night.
The floating object drew nearer, drawn to the light, and sure enough, it was a small ship.
Sophie was on the dock as the Troop 20517 pulled into shore. She yanked her miserable-looking husband onto the shore, and together they hobbled through the storm to the safety of the lighthouse.
Inside, Joshua Troop collapsed to the ground, panting.
“Josh,” Sophie cried, falling to his side. He turned over to face her, candlelight dancing in his tired eyes. She threw her arms around him, holding him close.
They laid there for several minutes, relishing the dryness of the lighthouse and warmth of each other’s company.
“Oh,” Sophie said suddenly. “I never prepared a Christmas meal. And the gifts! They’ll be ruined.”
Josh shushed her gently, squeezing her hand. “Sophie, forget about all that. All I need for Christmas is to be right here with you.”
Sophie relaxed and rested her head on her husband’s chest. She noticed the candle on the counter above them, still burning even after the opening of the door had let in gusts of wet wind. “He’s with us, too,” she said quietly.
Josh glanced at the light and saw the roof of the nativity’s stable, upon which stood a ceramic angel. Josh kissed the top of Sophie’s head. “He’s always with us. He led me home, even when I could no longer see the lighthouse.”
Sophie just smiled. Christ’s Light was all the direction they had ever needed.
Sitting back, Claire examined her work. She was grateful she didn’t live in a lonely lighthouse on a nearly deserted island, but then again, if she was with her true love and it was made of candy….
She plopped a leftover candy rock into her mouth. Next, she was going to build a gingerbread castle, complete with a dragon, a damsel in distress, and a knight in shining armor.
Story (C) Copyright 2009 Jillian Suzann Newell
My Gingerbread House Inspiration:
My Musical Inspiration:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU6AhH2a1cU&feature=PlayList&p=F49866CA4A873543&index=34
My Story:
"Currently Untitled."
Claire dumped the candy rocks into a pie pan, as to better distribute them. Each rock was unique in its shape and size and color: some were as large as quarters, while smallest was the size of a sunflower seed. There were pink, blue, grey, brown, black, white, and orangish-red rocks.
Next, Claire opened a bag of pretzel sticks, and began snapping the pretzels in half. Finally, she had all her gingerbread house supplies ready and on the table—her workspace.
This was going to be no ordinary gingerbread house; it could hardly be called a house, but that is what it was: A lighthouse.
Claire uncapped the tub of vanilla frosting and began spreading it over the back end of the aluminum foil-covered square of cardboard that would serve as a base.
Stuck together with frosting, Claire formed the gingerbread walls of the lighthouse. It was intricate work, and Claire paid close attention to every detail. Soon, there were pretzel sticks for railings and a lollipop for a light. Crushed Corn Chex substituted as sand and the candy rocks decorated what would soon be a beach.
Claire uncapped the blue frosting, grabbed her butter knife, and began to form her ocean, twisting the knife to create a wave-like appearance.
Claire could almost hear the cry of seagulls….
Sophie gripped the railings, as she stared out over the darkened ocean. The storm was so fierce that her yellow slicker did little good, and her long brown hair clung to her face and neck as if its life depended on it.
Rain splattered into her eyes and she blinked rapidly to clear her vision. “Please,” she whispered, her voice lost to the wail of the angry wind. “See the light.”
Just as she said this, she was engulfed by blinding light; and just as quickly, it disappeared. The lighthouse’s light was dimmer than usual, having experienced mechanical difficulties over the past few week, but at least it was running. That was all Sophie could ask for; that, and her husband’s safe return.
As the wife of a lighthouse keeper, Sophie was trained in predicting the weather. According to her predictions, the week of Christmas was to be unusually clear and sunny—perfect for traveling the seas.
She had said so in her telegram to her husband, Joshua, a week earlier. He had gone to the main island for supplies (Christmas shopping, Sophie had told herself excitedly) and had promised to be home by the holiday.
Tonight was Christmas Eve, and Sophie’s predictions had been completely misled. What had really happened was the opposite—an unusually fierce storm had arisen from nowhere that afternoon, and had already washed away the porch swing and their only dinghy.
Josh was somewhere out there, in that, and it was all her fault. She’d claimed the weather would be amiable—if she never saw her husband again, if he never experienced another Christmas, she would be to blame.
Tears, hot and salty, mingled with the rain that assaulted her cheeks.
Suddenly, the world was engulfed in darkness. Sophie screamed and swung around, nearly losing her balance on the slick deck.
“No,” she breathed, gaping into the nothingness before her. Lightning flashed, illuminating the glass room that housed the light. “No!” Sophie screamed again, this time in frustration.
The light had died, and with it any hope of Josh’s return.
Sophie yanked open the door and forced it closed behind her against the wind. Angrily, she slammed her fist against the light, hoping with a vain hope that it would jumpstart it back to life.
With one last glance at the unseen ocean, Sophie dashed downstairs to the control room. After locating a flashlight, she switched it on to better see the control panel…. Nothing happened. The batteries were dead.
Each second that passed in darkness, Josh could be drifting farther out to sea.
Frantic, Sophie rushed downstairs into the living quarters of the lighthouse. As she dashed for the junk drawer to find batteries, she noticed a dim light in the room: a single candle illuminating a simple nativity scene on the counter.
Temporarily distracted, Sophie stepped in front of it, watching the candlelight dance across the Christ-child’s face. He was smiling up into his mother’s peaceful face.
Mary had just given birth inside a stable, and yet she seemed so at ease. Sophie wished she could feel that same peace, and fell to her knees.
Claire lodged the toothpick mast into the gingerbread boat, turning it so the beaded sail was parallel with the boat.
With a tube of green icing, she christened the ship, “Troop 20517” after her last name and zip code. Finally, Claire positioned the ship into the blue frosting waves and hot-glued it into place.
The perfect finishing piece to her edible world.
Minutes later, Sophie opened her eyes. Something had changed; she no longer felt fear. Leaping to her feet, Sophie bounded up the lighthouse stairs, only to be blinded by a white light.
After regaining herself, Sophie stared out over the ocean, following the beam of light as it lit up the crashing waves. Miraculously, the light had relit; even more miraculously, Sophie noticed something being tossed by the waves. She strained to better see the object whip-lashing back and forth on the waves. She pulled the hood of her slicker further over her eyes.
Could it be? Sophie scarcely dared to believe, but then she remembered the babe in the manger, and immediately began to pray for the second time that night.
The floating object drew nearer, drawn to the light, and sure enough, it was a small ship.
Sophie was on the dock as the Troop 20517 pulled into shore. She yanked her miserable-looking husband onto the shore, and together they hobbled through the storm to the safety of the lighthouse.
Inside, Joshua Troop collapsed to the ground, panting.
“Josh,” Sophie cried, falling to his side. He turned over to face her, candlelight dancing in his tired eyes. She threw her arms around him, holding him close.
They laid there for several minutes, relishing the dryness of the lighthouse and warmth of each other’s company.
“Oh,” Sophie said suddenly. “I never prepared a Christmas meal. And the gifts! They’ll be ruined.”
Josh shushed her gently, squeezing her hand. “Sophie, forget about all that. All I need for Christmas is to be right here with you.”
Sophie relaxed and rested her head on her husband’s chest. She noticed the candle on the counter above them, still burning even after the opening of the door had let in gusts of wet wind. “He’s with us, too,” she said quietly.
Josh glanced at the light and saw the roof of the nativity’s stable, upon which stood a ceramic angel. Josh kissed the top of Sophie’s head. “He’s always with us. He led me home, even when I could no longer see the lighthouse.”
Sophie just smiled. Christ’s Light was all the direction they had ever needed.
Sitting back, Claire examined her work. She was grateful she didn’t live in a lonely lighthouse on a nearly deserted island, but then again, if she was with her true love and it was made of candy….
She plopped a leftover candy rock into her mouth. Next, she was going to build a gingerbread castle, complete with a dragon, a damsel in distress, and a knight in shining armor.
Story (C) Copyright 2009 Jillian Suzann Newell
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
...just so you know.
Almost a month ago, Ashtin and I broke up. In lieu of our separation, I wrote this:
As I look back
on the past year
and memories flash
before my mind's eye,
I remember what
we went through.
I remember what
you meant to me,
what we use to be.
And I realize
that I wouldn't
change a thing,
or take back
any of the
dreams
words
jokes
laughs
smiles
kisses.
What we had was
beautiful.
What we shared was
wonderful.
What we were was
magical.
You made me
happy
braver
stronger.
You should me
love
beauty
myself.
It wasn't always
easy,
but the good times were
amazing.
I won't forget
how you made me feel
how you changed me
you.
You will always be
in my heart,
a sweet memory.
And for all this
I thank you,
the one who gave me
wings.
As I look back
on the past year
and memories flash
before my mind's eye,
I remember what
we went through.
I remember what
you meant to me,
what we use to be.
And I realize
that I wouldn't
change a thing,
or take back
any of the
dreams
words
jokes
laughs
smiles
kisses.
What we had was
beautiful.
What we shared was
wonderful.
What we were was
magical.
You made me
happy
braver
stronger.
You should me
love
beauty
myself.
It wasn't always
easy,
but the good times were
amazing.
I won't forget
how you made me feel
how you changed me
you.
You will always be
in my heart,
a sweet memory.
And for all this
I thank you,
the one who gave me
wings.
BFF in Indiana
My bestest friend in this entire world, Kirsten, came to visit me in Indiana for a week, November 3-10. We went shopping, took a tour a DeBrand Chocolate Factory, explored an old Amish antique store, ate hot dogs at Fort Wayne's Famous Coney Island, visited Toledo's Museum of Art, played on Lake Erie's beach, had a game night with friends, and had a grand time! Oh my gosh, I love her so freaking much!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Cutest Essay Ever!
A LOOK INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN
(an essay written by a guy pouring his heart out to all women)
written by Michael Levi Moore
There is no way for everyone to be happy without someone getting hurt. you can try all you want, and you will be lucky to succeed, but nothing of any value comes without a price. I found out that the person I truly loved is still the person i will truly love forever. i also found out that there is such thing as a lesser form of love that is not "puppy love" or "lust" or anything in between. this is the kind of love people have when they are just between the ages of "beginner dater" and "will you marry me". this is the time where you learn what true love is. you learn that you do in fact love every girlfriend/boyfriend you have recently had, but you just don’t love them as much as one loves their future spouse. they say little kids have "puppy love", and that is true. they say you have eternal love for your spouse. that is also true. but there is a type of love they have left out completely. that is the type of love i am talking about. that is the "lesser" form of love.
Also, here is a lesson for all you women who think you are ugly or don’t deserve the guy who loves you: YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO US!!!! WE COULDNT CARE IF EVERYONE ELSE ALIVE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE UGLIEST PERSON TO EVER LIVE!!!! THERE ARE THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT YOU THAT MAKE LOOKS OBSOLETE!!! in reality, you really may not deserve our attention. but we could care less what you really deserve. we think you deserve to sit on a throne in heaven as one of God's best and brightest subjects. if we could give you one thing, it would be what sanity we have left after deciding what we would give you that would mean more than anything else in the world. the truth of it is this: we would give you the world and everything in it, if it were in our power to do so. there are soo many things we want to tell you that cant even be put into words. there are feelings soo strong that neither death, distance, or hell could weaken, much less break. such are the feelings we hold for you. the smart guys realize that women in general, yes every single one, are something worth giving your life for. even the most wretched girl alive has something that no other person alive has: a spirit like their's. there is no one alive who matches up to you, no matter what anyone says.
The only way to describe it is to say that were women (once again every single one) any better, they would be the closest thing we would have to a perfect example of the love and power and beauty of God. i am not saying God is less great than he is, i am just saying that to us, you are the most amazing creation God ever made.
Lesson number two: we don’t understand why you feel the need to try and make yourself soo much better just to please us. the only guys who need any convincing of your true beauty are the ones addicted to filthy thoughts, whos perfect example is the one they see naked on a stand. those are not the type of guys you should be trying to impress. the ones who see you for who you really are, those are the ones worth trying to impress. and trust me, all you have to do to impress a good guy is to be yourself, and not try to flaunt your body parts at us. we could care less about how much skin you show, or how much of a turn on you can be. what really matters to us is your happiness and wellbeing. we would give our lives to protect you from those guys who think beauty is in the appearance of the body. we would rather die a horrid death than allow someone to violate your sacred trust. sometimes, this means we must even protect you from ourselves.
We are not perfect. you may not be perfect either. but together with God, we can become something no living person alive can look down on. we can become something soo great that even the richest kings would be envious of us. we can have something that no amount of money can buy, and no amount of work can equal. they say that the law of nature is balance. namely, that in order to gain anything, you must first present something of equal value. love is a direct violation of that law. there is no price that can be put on love. there is no explanation for it. we can only say that love itself is a miracle.
fortunately for us, we have you as the daughters of God. you provide a reason for us to do our best. you are the reason we seek to improve our lives, to gain an education, to become the best person we can be. you are the reason we as humanity still exist. you help bring life into this world, and you are the reason that each life continues to strive for personal gain. we only seek personal gain so we can have something of value to present to you in hopes it is enough to pleas you and earn your attention.
I hear tons of magazines with articles on "how to get a good man" or "how to get rid of a bad man" or "how to turn a bad man into a good man," but honestly i am here to tell you the truth. a good man is the one who sees the beauty in all women. a good man is the kind who would never turn his back on a woman in need. a good man is one who would give his life for any female, whether he knows them or not. a good man is the kind who will love you for you no matter what you have done in the past, no matter how bad you have been, and will never look down on you as inferior, but rather can see the potential you hold, and praises you often for this potential you hold. he is the man who would give everything he has just to see you smile. he would give his life, his time, his money all just to see you succeed and be happy. if you ever ask a guy what he sees in you, and he acts like he doesn’t know, or gets nervous and suddenly treats you like a queen, this is what he is really trying to tell you. he wants to pour out his heart to you, and tell you things that would probably make you cry for joy and love, but he simply cannot put these feelings to words. if this is not what he means, he will not treat you in a manner which would uphold these feelings.
The difference between love and lust is what your eyes are attracted to the second time you see someone (that is, after you think you might be attracted to someone) . notice i didn’t say the first time you look at someone. if you wonder why you don’t get much attention from the guys, or why you don’t have a lot of boyfriends, it is not your fault. society has put a very high price on physical appearance. this does not mean you are ugly, or even "not as beautiful as her". this does not mean you should change a single thing about yourself to try and please every guy around you. remember, not every guy is worth talking to. this will be hard to believe, but you are beautiful. the eye of a guy is instantly attracted to females who meet the physical standards of those who make a living in flaunting their body parts. sure, you can get someone’s attention by flaunting your body, but do you really want his attention drawn to you by his sexual desires? or would you rather attract a guy who will support you no matter what you look like, no matter who you are? you will, without fail, attract a better guy by flaunting your inner beauty and personality than you would by flaunting those "5 minutes of pleasure" parts. the world has tricked the public into thinking that 5 minutes of pleasure is a better reward than an eternity of true happiness. trust me, you do not want to go through eternity with someone who will stare at your body more than your soul.
Yes, i know this essay might be telling you to turn away from someone you thought was worth your time. i am not trying to tell you what to do. i am simply begging you to realize that the best guys are those who could care less how you compare to a half naked woman posted on the front of a magazine. i try to be the kind of person who finds friends by their better qualities and their personality over their looks. i am not alone. there are hundreds out there like me who realize that the best qualities to look for will still be there after you have hit 100 years old. you have to look for them. you have to be willing to turn away from those who do not meet these standards.
I am begging you to see that you will be better of having a little bit of pain now, and turning away from that "totally hot" guy, and turning toward the "almost as good" guy who will give you everything you could ever ask for. yes the "totally hot" guy might be the same guy who will give you everything you ever wanted. if so, GO FOR IT!!! but take this warning with you: be careful. think about what you really want. think about where you really want to be in 50 years. if what the guy has to offer is not what you will be seeking in 50 years, do not think you can simply change the guy to make him give you what you want. it rarely works this way. you are better off sacrificing looks for quality. in heaven, when we are there for eternity, we will know whether we have made a wise choice. think about what you will think 500 years from now, when we are all with our loved ones in that eternal world. will you say "i picked the right guy" or will you say "i wish i had thought a little more about my future"? it is my hope and prayer that you will take this essay to heart and see that sometimes, a painful sacrifice now can mean eternal blessings in your future. remember, love is eternal, and while puppy love may be fun, it can only prepare you for the "lesser love" which also only prepares you for "eternal" love. may you all find the best "eternal" love you could ever ask for. i love you all. thank you!
(feel free to post this anywhere you like, just please do not twist the meaning of this essay. i have poured out my heart in this essay, and if i read it in some newspaper in 20 years, i would like to see it mean just as much to me then as it does now. thank you!)
Michael Levi Moore
written 3-5-2007
(an essay written by a guy pouring his heart out to all women)
written by Michael Levi Moore
There is no way for everyone to be happy without someone getting hurt. you can try all you want, and you will be lucky to succeed, but nothing of any value comes without a price. I found out that the person I truly loved is still the person i will truly love forever. i also found out that there is such thing as a lesser form of love that is not "puppy love" or "lust" or anything in between. this is the kind of love people have when they are just between the ages of "beginner dater" and "will you marry me". this is the time where you learn what true love is. you learn that you do in fact love every girlfriend/boyfriend you have recently had, but you just don’t love them as much as one loves their future spouse. they say little kids have "puppy love", and that is true. they say you have eternal love for your spouse. that is also true. but there is a type of love they have left out completely. that is the type of love i am talking about. that is the "lesser" form of love.
Also, here is a lesson for all you women who think you are ugly or don’t deserve the guy who loves you: YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO US!!!! WE COULDNT CARE IF EVERYONE ELSE ALIVE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE UGLIEST PERSON TO EVER LIVE!!!! THERE ARE THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT YOU THAT MAKE LOOKS OBSOLETE!!! in reality, you really may not deserve our attention. but we could care less what you really deserve. we think you deserve to sit on a throne in heaven as one of God's best and brightest subjects. if we could give you one thing, it would be what sanity we have left after deciding what we would give you that would mean more than anything else in the world. the truth of it is this: we would give you the world and everything in it, if it were in our power to do so. there are soo many things we want to tell you that cant even be put into words. there are feelings soo strong that neither death, distance, or hell could weaken, much less break. such are the feelings we hold for you. the smart guys realize that women in general, yes every single one, are something worth giving your life for. even the most wretched girl alive has something that no other person alive has: a spirit like their's. there is no one alive who matches up to you, no matter what anyone says.
The only way to describe it is to say that were women (once again every single one) any better, they would be the closest thing we would have to a perfect example of the love and power and beauty of God. i am not saying God is less great than he is, i am just saying that to us, you are the most amazing creation God ever made.
Lesson number two: we don’t understand why you feel the need to try and make yourself soo much better just to please us. the only guys who need any convincing of your true beauty are the ones addicted to filthy thoughts, whos perfect example is the one they see naked on a stand. those are not the type of guys you should be trying to impress. the ones who see you for who you really are, those are the ones worth trying to impress. and trust me, all you have to do to impress a good guy is to be yourself, and not try to flaunt your body parts at us. we could care less about how much skin you show, or how much of a turn on you can be. what really matters to us is your happiness and wellbeing. we would give our lives to protect you from those guys who think beauty is in the appearance of the body. we would rather die a horrid death than allow someone to violate your sacred trust. sometimes, this means we must even protect you from ourselves.
We are not perfect. you may not be perfect either. but together with God, we can become something no living person alive can look down on. we can become something soo great that even the richest kings would be envious of us. we can have something that no amount of money can buy, and no amount of work can equal. they say that the law of nature is balance. namely, that in order to gain anything, you must first present something of equal value. love is a direct violation of that law. there is no price that can be put on love. there is no explanation for it. we can only say that love itself is a miracle.
fortunately for us, we have you as the daughters of God. you provide a reason for us to do our best. you are the reason we seek to improve our lives, to gain an education, to become the best person we can be. you are the reason we as humanity still exist. you help bring life into this world, and you are the reason that each life continues to strive for personal gain. we only seek personal gain so we can have something of value to present to you in hopes it is enough to pleas you and earn your attention.
I hear tons of magazines with articles on "how to get a good man" or "how to get rid of a bad man" or "how to turn a bad man into a good man," but honestly i am here to tell you the truth. a good man is the one who sees the beauty in all women. a good man is the kind who would never turn his back on a woman in need. a good man is one who would give his life for any female, whether he knows them or not. a good man is the kind who will love you for you no matter what you have done in the past, no matter how bad you have been, and will never look down on you as inferior, but rather can see the potential you hold, and praises you often for this potential you hold. he is the man who would give everything he has just to see you smile. he would give his life, his time, his money all just to see you succeed and be happy. if you ever ask a guy what he sees in you, and he acts like he doesn’t know, or gets nervous and suddenly treats you like a queen, this is what he is really trying to tell you. he wants to pour out his heart to you, and tell you things that would probably make you cry for joy and love, but he simply cannot put these feelings to words. if this is not what he means, he will not treat you in a manner which would uphold these feelings.
The difference between love and lust is what your eyes are attracted to the second time you see someone (that is, after you think you might be attracted to someone) . notice i didn’t say the first time you look at someone. if you wonder why you don’t get much attention from the guys, or why you don’t have a lot of boyfriends, it is not your fault. society has put a very high price on physical appearance. this does not mean you are ugly, or even "not as beautiful as her". this does not mean you should change a single thing about yourself to try and please every guy around you. remember, not every guy is worth talking to. this will be hard to believe, but you are beautiful. the eye of a guy is instantly attracted to females who meet the physical standards of those who make a living in flaunting their body parts. sure, you can get someone’s attention by flaunting your body, but do you really want his attention drawn to you by his sexual desires? or would you rather attract a guy who will support you no matter what you look like, no matter who you are? you will, without fail, attract a better guy by flaunting your inner beauty and personality than you would by flaunting those "5 minutes of pleasure" parts. the world has tricked the public into thinking that 5 minutes of pleasure is a better reward than an eternity of true happiness. trust me, you do not want to go through eternity with someone who will stare at your body more than your soul.
Yes, i know this essay might be telling you to turn away from someone you thought was worth your time. i am not trying to tell you what to do. i am simply begging you to realize that the best guys are those who could care less how you compare to a half naked woman posted on the front of a magazine. i try to be the kind of person who finds friends by their better qualities and their personality over their looks. i am not alone. there are hundreds out there like me who realize that the best qualities to look for will still be there after you have hit 100 years old. you have to look for them. you have to be willing to turn away from those who do not meet these standards.
I am begging you to see that you will be better of having a little bit of pain now, and turning away from that "totally hot" guy, and turning toward the "almost as good" guy who will give you everything you could ever ask for. yes the "totally hot" guy might be the same guy who will give you everything you ever wanted. if so, GO FOR IT!!! but take this warning with you: be careful. think about what you really want. think about where you really want to be in 50 years. if what the guy has to offer is not what you will be seeking in 50 years, do not think you can simply change the guy to make him give you what you want. it rarely works this way. you are better off sacrificing looks for quality. in heaven, when we are there for eternity, we will know whether we have made a wise choice. think about what you will think 500 years from now, when we are all with our loved ones in that eternal world. will you say "i picked the right guy" or will you say "i wish i had thought a little more about my future"? it is my hope and prayer that you will take this essay to heart and see that sometimes, a painful sacrifice now can mean eternal blessings in your future. remember, love is eternal, and while puppy love may be fun, it can only prepare you for the "lesser love" which also only prepares you for "eternal" love. may you all find the best "eternal" love you could ever ask for. i love you all. thank you!
(feel free to post this anywhere you like, just please do not twist the meaning of this essay. i have poured out my heart in this essay, and if i read it in some newspaper in 20 years, i would like to see it mean just as much to me then as it does now. thank you!)
Michael Levi Moore
written 3-5-2007
Sunday, November 8, 2009
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